Of course this resonates deep with me. Of the memories of bartending with you in the late 90s, (and early aughts I think?), I vividly recall your laugh, your beauty, and some parenting advice you gave. My son was born January 21st, 1998. You’d already become a mom and I remember seeing you with your wee little kid and being wowed by the clear connection between the two of you, and how cool your little one was. I was a new dad and anxious about making mistakes. I asked if you had any advice. You looked me in the eye and said, “Just love ‘em. Just love ‘em.”
You knew I knew what you meant. Which was what I needed in the moment. Confidence from someone I respected. Simplicity, delivered with conviction. Good advice, well delivered. Thanks again.
I realized too, maybe you were remembering my middle daughter as the wee one!. My oldest was already close to 13 by then, wow, crazy to imagine. I still think you need to write that piece on you know who although maybe a whole book is in order!
You are right, of course. In my memory she was like 4, but now, with your input, I realize she was older, and I can tweak the memory accordingly. Part of my admiration was y'all seemed pretty tight for a daughter / mom combo in a crazy world, and that, in my experience, was (and is) rare. It was something I wanted for my son and me. I knew (correctly) the world was only going to get crazier. How right I was. And how right you were.
Love it, thanks Deirdre. I've added your book to my Amazon list, which caused me to notice another entry on my list, a book called Vanishing New York: How a city lost its soul. Have you read it? I'm almost scared to read it, I don't want to get angry and depressed if it's about how money changed the nature of the city. Although I will say you can't always believe the headlines. When we visited NYC in the fall of 2022 I was surprised to see it still filled with young people running around, giving the city life. Reading the news for the past 20 years, one would think it was populated solely by hedge fund guys in suits, beautiful and vacuous influencers and street thugs. As you suggested, when you're young or just busy in your own world, you make your own reality. Damn the statistics.
Thank you Dan! You know I have your book! :) Now my youngest kids are in NY so I know there's still an eternal vibrancy and life in certain parts for sure...I just watched Gangs of NY again last week. So great. There will be soul there forever I think.
You reel off these places as if you can see them from you window, I love the names, I love the feeling of community you remember… New York; just the name, to me, is about as far removed from here as a place possibly could be but I can never resist reading about it. More snaps like this Deirdre! 🙏🏽
Thank you so much Susie, I feel the same about your writing, it resonates with me so strongly even though I've never been there. You let me understand something about it.
This made me think of my baby brother who’s an artist. I love him so much. What is it about the mind of an artist? I think you would like his art. I want to write to Myles about him. Here’s his work if you’re interested in seeing - https://wslyprre.co/
Of course this resonates deep with me. Of the memories of bartending with you in the late 90s, (and early aughts I think?), I vividly recall your laugh, your beauty, and some parenting advice you gave. My son was born January 21st, 1998. You’d already become a mom and I remember seeing you with your wee little kid and being wowed by the clear connection between the two of you, and how cool your little one was. I was a new dad and anxious about making mistakes. I asked if you had any advice. You looked me in the eye and said, “Just love ‘em. Just love ‘em.”
You knew I knew what you meant. Which was what I needed in the moment. Confidence from someone I respected. Simplicity, delivered with conviction. Good advice, well delivered. Thanks again.
I realized too, maybe you were remembering my middle daughter as the wee one!. My oldest was already close to 13 by then, wow, crazy to imagine. I still think you need to write that piece on you know who although maybe a whole book is in order!
You are right, of course. In my memory she was like 4, but now, with your input, I realize she was older, and I can tweak the memory accordingly. Part of my admiration was y'all seemed pretty tight for a daughter / mom combo in a crazy world, and that, in my experience, was (and is) rare. It was something I wanted for my son and me. I knew (correctly) the world was only going to get crazier. How right I was. And how right you were.
Oh ha, thanks Robert. That means a lot. I'm glad I kept it simple!
“ It was a place to go and stand with others in a hot smoky room, trying to get your needs met.”
Favorite line of this whole piece.
Thanks for sharing a bit of your history in the city I love.
Thank you! That was the simplest way to put it!
I remember when Davide passed. i didn’t know him personally but a bunch of my friends did. it was so sad. he was so young.
also i remember all those places and the italian bread bakery that was open after the bar closed so you could soak up the situation.
so good deird.
Love it, thanks Deirdre. I've added your book to my Amazon list, which caused me to notice another entry on my list, a book called Vanishing New York: How a city lost its soul. Have you read it? I'm almost scared to read it, I don't want to get angry and depressed if it's about how money changed the nature of the city. Although I will say you can't always believe the headlines. When we visited NYC in the fall of 2022 I was surprised to see it still filled with young people running around, giving the city life. Reading the news for the past 20 years, one would think it was populated solely by hedge fund guys in suits, beautiful and vacuous influencers and street thugs. As you suggested, when you're young or just busy in your own world, you make your own reality. Damn the statistics.
Thank you Dan! You know I have your book! :) Now my youngest kids are in NY so I know there's still an eternal vibrancy and life in certain parts for sure...I just watched Gangs of NY again last week. So great. There will be soul there forever I think.
You reel off these places as if you can see them from you window, I love the names, I love the feeling of community you remember… New York; just the name, to me, is about as far removed from here as a place possibly could be but I can never resist reading about it. More snaps like this Deirdre! 🙏🏽
Thank you so much Susie, I feel the same about your writing, it resonates with me so strongly even though I've never been there. You let me understand something about it.
This made me think of my baby brother who’s an artist. I love him so much. What is it about the mind of an artist? I think you would like his art. I want to write to Myles about him. Here’s his work if you’re interested in seeing - https://wslyprre.co/
oh I love that, Preachers Kid, Enlightenment and Self Portrait especially. He's amazing, and yes write to Myles about him! I want to know more.
so ninetyish!