I enjoyed this so much. Having grown up in the Sonoran desert of Texas and New Mexico, I know intimately about that immensity and silence — also about the surprisingly tough but ample life one can find there. The air after a rain, the old people I have known that lived there and built a life . . .
I also know what is being lost there, and I grieve for it. Thank you for sharing your story, and I hope there are many more.
the image of the office door closed is a strong one i associate w my dad, who also loved solitude. he allocated time daily for family, and was jovial and kind, but the bulk of his time was contentedly spent in solitude. i found Anthony Storr's book on the subject a great read.
Great story. Having lived in Rhode Island, where you're always within a hour's drive to the ocean, living in the desert must have been almost surreal for your grandmother, but it appears your grandfather was a contemplative man, a deep well, much like a desert monk, so he felt very much at home with the desert's isolation. Thank you for sharing.
Wow. I feel your depth of admiration for your grandparents in every phrase, nothing too precious, but the kind of appreciation that transcends their tangled humanness.
This line will stay with me for a long time: “It felt like she was holding you even when she wasn’t”
“…it felt like she was holding you even when she wasn’t.” You take me into your grandparents’ world. I feel their complicated love for each other, and for you.
Thank you for this ace visit to your grandparents’ desert. I don’t think of myself as a desert person but I’ve never been close enough to give it a go and you certainly sold it.
Also, there’s a shot my grandparents knew your grandparents. They also knew Huxley and Krishnamurti and they lived out west among folks like that back in the 1920s. Too bad we can’t check. (Unless you’re a medium?) Anyway: gorgeous.
Damn, this was gorgeous. I kept highlighting lines to quote and gave up — too many gems. But a cabin in the desert sounds pretty great right about now.
This is so tender and beautiful. I share your two minds about the desert. The idea of spending the days with your favorite person in a place where neither of you can "hide from yourself" sounds nourishing. On the other hand, the emptiness and lack of distraction would likely drive me crazy. As always, this was an absolute delight to read :)
Beautifully written piece and makes me long for the space and the solitude you describe. I’m a busy city dweller and soak up open spaces when we go away on holiday, driving away from home you can feel the spaces get bigger and the air get clearer and the weight get lighter as the horizon begins to reveal itself as we get closer to our destination. I wish I could escape more often.
I love this. As ever, with a few brush strokes you bring folks to life in the imagination. I can see your grandparents so clearly, and feel your love for them.
Although the desert is the exact opposite of my verdant, mountainous Hudson Valley home, I understand the appeal. My brief visits in those arid places have stayed with me. This piece in particular makes those times resonate. I am reminded of the expanse and resilience and wonder of the natural world, and that reminder was much needed today. Thank you.
I love the real connection you had with your grandparents. I can see the humor in your GP's eyes. Much more than solitude was inherited, evident in your sensitive writing. A desert full of connection and relationship.
I enjoyed this so much. Having grown up in the Sonoran desert of Texas and New Mexico, I know intimately about that immensity and silence — also about the surprisingly tough but ample life one can find there. The air after a rain, the old people I have known that lived there and built a life . . .
I also know what is being lost there, and I grieve for it. Thank you for sharing your story, and I hope there are many more.
Thank you. I love that description. It’s still pretty lonesome but I imagine it slows your pulse in a good way too.
So beautiful. Such a sense of aliveness in the silence. Of real relation and connection with your grandparents.
Thank you for saying that Beatrice, I'm glad it came across.
Deirdre -
Did you take that photo? I love the way you captured the light. I get quiet and mystical when in the desert. Nicely done.
https://www.salon.com/2025/04/13/can-theater-save-democracy-its-not-an-idle-question--its-happened-before/
I don’t think I did, I’m not sure which person in my family did, but I think it was out the window of a moving car! Thank you for reading.
This was a beautiful read- Thank you
the image of the office door closed is a strong one i associate w my dad, who also loved solitude. he allocated time daily for family, and was jovial and kind, but the bulk of his time was contentedly spent in solitude. i found Anthony Storr's book on the subject a great read.
Heart words…. This is so good Deirdre.
Thanks Susie, that means a lot.
Great story. Having lived in Rhode Island, where you're always within a hour's drive to the ocean, living in the desert must have been almost surreal for your grandmother, but it appears your grandfather was a contemplative man, a deep well, much like a desert monk, so he felt very much at home with the desert's isolation. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much. Neither of them were originally from RI either, although I was born there and visited in the summers. I miss that place!
Wow. I feel your depth of admiration for your grandparents in every phrase, nothing too precious, but the kind of appreciation that transcends their tangled humanness.
This line will stay with me for a long time: “It felt like she was holding you even when she wasn’t”
Oh thank you for saying that. They are two of my favorite people of all time.
“…it felt like she was holding you even when she wasn’t.” You take me into your grandparents’ world. I feel their complicated love for each other, and for you.
Thank you for this ace visit to your grandparents’ desert. I don’t think of myself as a desert person but I’ve never been close enough to give it a go and you certainly sold it.
Also, there’s a shot my grandparents knew your grandparents. They also knew Huxley and Krishnamurti and they lived out west among folks like that back in the 1920s. Too bad we can’t check. (Unless you’re a medium?) Anyway: gorgeous.
Oh thank you. What are your grandparents names? I will ask my aunt and won't need to consult a medium!
Love this depiction of your grandparents. And as someone who highly values solitude, the piece resonated in that way too.
Thanks so much Holly, that means a lot.
Damn, this was gorgeous. I kept highlighting lines to quote and gave up — too many gems. But a cabin in the desert sounds pretty great right about now.
This is so tender and beautiful. I share your two minds about the desert. The idea of spending the days with your favorite person in a place where neither of you can "hide from yourself" sounds nourishing. On the other hand, the emptiness and lack of distraction would likely drive me crazy. As always, this was an absolute delight to read :)
Yes there’s a yes/no in the mix for sure. And I definitely think true desert people are a different breed.
I don't think I've met a true desert person. I know quite a few who have been taken by its charm and retired to it.
Beautifully written piece and makes me long for the space and the solitude you describe. I’m a busy city dweller and soak up open spaces when we go away on holiday, driving away from home you can feel the spaces get bigger and the air get clearer and the weight get lighter as the horizon begins to reveal itself as we get closer to our destination. I wish I could escape more often.
You're right, there is something about a weight lifted in open spaces. Thanks for reading!
I love this. As ever, with a few brush strokes you bring folks to life in the imagination. I can see your grandparents so clearly, and feel your love for them.
Although the desert is the exact opposite of my verdant, mountainous Hudson Valley home, I understand the appeal. My brief visits in those arid places have stayed with me. This piece in particular makes those times resonate. I am reminded of the expanse and resilience and wonder of the natural world, and that reminder was much needed today. Thank you.
Thanks Robert. Yes, I get it too, at least for a day or two!
I love the real connection you had with your grandparents. I can see the humor in your GP's eyes. Much more than solitude was inherited, evident in your sensitive writing. A desert full of connection and relationship.